How Indians Courted

There were two kinds of courtship among the Indians; the "supervised" and the in-spite-of-everything kind. When girls had been given the ceremony of maidenhood, they were more closely guarded by their parents or relatives. They became less playful about the camp and clung more closely to the fireside and its duties.

At this time, too, they became more beautiful. The young man would walk through the camp or village and look at the girls and try to find one that he liked. He would not show by a movement of his eyes or face that he was "mooning" around, or that he was doing anything but simply walking about for the mere joy of living.

Sometimes the young man would associate with the father or brother and try to find an excuse for talking to the sister just in a casual way. Among the Plains people the young man was an active agent in picking his bride. Among some of the Forest area people the girl herself did the picking, though in many cases it was mutual love. The maiden was not insensible to a good youth's attention.

Among the Iroquois when a young woman had selected her mate she told her mother. The mother then tried to be especially friendly with the young man's mother. If the friendship was agreeable the girl's mother told of her daughter's desire. If all was well the young woman then cooked twenty-four double loaves of "ball biscuit" which she carried in a basket and hung at the door of the young man.

"That's a queer custom," I told my friend Cornplanter. "What happened then?"

"Oh," said he, "if the young fellow took the biscuits and ate one, and lived, he was compelled to marry the girl."

Brides' biscuits, it seems, were sometimes fatal even in Indian days!
Among the Crow people the young men sought a chance to go on the village berry-picking picnic, and in this way the couple had a pleasant day together. There was a custom in the spring of having a tribal herald call the young to,this gathering of f ruit. All the youths would then put on their best clothing, take their berry bags and stand near their tipis. The young man would then go to the girl he loved and ask if he might carry her berry bag and go on the excursion with her. If she consented, all was well, but if she refused he felt hurt and ashamed. If she handed him her bag he placed a horse at her disposal, and if he had none, they walked together to the place of the start, then at the signal they ran to the berry patch and tried to get the best branches. These were broken off, taken to a spot near-by and the two picked the fruit off together. This gave opportunity for knowing each other better.

In returning to camp when the Crow people had horses, the girl sat behind him and sang with him in the parade around the camp as the merry-makers shouted their thanksgiving for the fruit. Then the lover returned the maid to her own tipi.

Once acquainted the youth might ask the maid for permission to go with her when the family went to the foot-hills for tipi poles, and if permission were granted he would help her fell the saplings and peel them.

When the time came for marriage the youth would make his proposal, paving the way by gifts evenings playing upon the flute. It might be from one to five years before he gained courage and property enough to make his marriage possible. He might not have courage even then, but send some older friend or relative to make the agreement. The Indian lover was sensitive and was hurt deeply when refused.

In the old days there were arranged marriages. These were brought about by rich warriors with many horses or wampum who wished to marry a beautiful maiden. He would talk over the matter with her parents and promise them great riches if they would consent. Sometimes the old people would try to induce their daughter to take the elderly beau, telling her that her life would be easier and their own old age more comfortable. She might refuse, which in some tribes ended the matter, in which case the rich old fellow would have to depart. Sometimes the girl felt compelled to give her consent. In that case if she had a lover, even one who had not declared himself, she might send word to him, or he might find out in some way. When this happened the young man would tell his near relatives and sworn f riends that he intended to steal the girl and run away. They would reason with him and then gather up their wealth against his success.

Cautiously the youth would watch the maid. She might go to a spring or out after wood. She might be guarded in her tipi so that he had to pull up the pegs and draw her out, but in some way he drew her to his arms, threw her upon his swiftest pony, and then raced madly off to a distant village or to some safe retreat. The next day or a few days later he returned with his bride. Side by side the two would ride into the town, their horses gay with bridal trappings. The groom would dash into the camp circle and cry out his marriage and defy any man to dare to say him nay. It might be that a fight would ensue, but if the friends and relatives had done their duty, word of the presents had been passed and the girl's parents were ready to receive them. If they were angry the young couple rode away and prepared for the family feud. In general, however, youth had its victory, and all ended well.