| HOW INDIANS MARRIED The idea of marriage among the Indians of America in general was that of all natural races. A man and a woman agreed that they should mate and have a home together. Both the man and the woman wanted a home and family life apart from their parents, though in many instances the young couple stayed with the parents of the one or the other. During the courtship, the young man brought valuable presents to the family of the maiden and declared his desire to have the girl as his wife. If the father and mother or other relatives agreed, their consent, given in the usual. manner, consummated the marriage. Of course there were elopements in which the young man swooped down upon the home of the girl and carried her away like some gay young Lochinvar. A successful elopement was a marriage. A man who could declare before all men, "This is my wife!" made his marriage real in the eyes of his tribe. Like all bridegrooms he sometimes had trouble in convincing the girl's parents. Cornplanter, the high priest of the Seneca Indians, once told me that there was a ceremony often performed in the days of the Prophet, and which the Prophet ordered as the custom that should be followed. When the young man had accepted the girl's proposal,-it was necessary that she propose,-the time for the marriage was set. A marriage council was called in which the THE INDIAN HIMSELF 103 youth sat on one side of the fire and the maid on the other. Standing at the side of each was the sponsor. Her duty was to describe the character of the one she stood for, and charge the other to understand and help her ward through life. It must be understood that no person could marry into his or her own clan. Marriage was always outside the clan. A Bear could not marry a Bear, but a Wolf, Turtle or some other clansperson. Thus when the marriage council was kindled the clansmen of each party assembled-on opposite sides. "Drooping Flower of the Wolves is our daughter," the matron would say. "She is fair to look upon and good. She has learned to make fine garments, she is an accomplished cook, she is faithful to the ceremonies of our Prophet, Handsome Lake. We love her. She may show temper at times, she may not think as the son of the Turtles does, she may desire things that he is unwilling to get, but if he takes her as his wife he must be kind and patient. "And now you, O our fair daughter, you are about to take upon yourself the duties of a wife. You are to know the cares of a home. You must be faithful to the son of the Turtles, you must give him of your talents. You may find him angry at times, you may find him ill and tired from the hunt, but you must be patient. Good wives are kind and patient. I have spoken." Then the sponsor of the youth would begin speaking. "Axe Carrier of the Turtles is our son. He is strong and brave. He has learned how to hunt and is skilled with the bow. He knows how to defend his nation as his comrades will tell. He has come back from the war trail with honors to his credit. He, too, follows the teachings of the Prophet. He takes part in the songs and dances that are pleasing to the Maker of All. We love him. He is a man. "And now you, O Axe Carrier, you are to be a husband. Be true, be faithful, be kind, be patient. There are many occasions which will make you wish to speak harsh words. Withhold them. ' Depart and hunt for a day before you speak. Then return and speak pleasantly and your wife will be glad to see you. A good husband does not speak unkindly but by his industry and thougtfulness proves himself capable of being a husband and a father. I have spoken." The two are now brought to the center near the fire and placed side by side. The bride throws her two braids over the groom's head and he gives her a bouquet. "These two are one," intones the priest. "Let them depart with our good wishes." The young couple among some tribes goes away on a bridal hunt and does not return for a year. In other tribes the youth goes to the home of the bride's parents and labors there for a full year, supplying the food and doing a man's share of the work. He is then at liberty to go where he will. One rule he must strictly observe, and that is never to joke with his mother-in-law! In certain tribes the two must not speak. Heckewelder, the missionary who lived with the Lenape, says, "An Indian loves to see his wife well clothed, which is proof that he is fond of her, at least, it is so considered. The more a man does for his wife the more he is esteemed, particularly by the women, who will say, `This man surely loves his wife."' The Cheyennes had elaborate courtships, some of which extended for a period of five years. By this time each family was well acquainted with the prospective mate. The young man was particularly attentive to the girl's father and brother, and did his best to prove his valor, his industry and his fitness as a husband. In some tribes the married woman wore her hair differently after marriage than before. The Hopi girl, for instance, gave up her high disks of hair that she wound about her ears. The Iroquois woman no longer braided her hair in two plaits, but in one looped up and tied with a string or ribbon. Sometimes a small wooden tablet covered with embroidered deer hair was worn instead of the colored ribbon |
From the Indian How Book by Arthur C. Parker