Forward

One day standing in the shower, newly pregnant with my second baby and just finished with my latest film, I wondered, Now what? I felt very content and excited about the coming months but also felt I had something I wanted to do or say during this time that would express why, despite the normal dissatisfactions with everyday life, I am basically happy.

I've never been a writer- indeed, it's the last talent I could ever claim for myself- but I wanted to share the passion I feel for life that makes it that much more special. I know and have always known that I am a very privileged person, not because of wealth or fame or power or the usual things that one thinks of as belonging to privilege, but because I have a deep sense of daring, an ability to make life better or more special, a belief that one can fulfill one's dreams, large or small. I have always taken the risk, never given up; even when everything appeared  to be catastrophic. I felt it was possible to turn one's dream , one's fantasies, into reality. I have been poor at times and privileged at others, but always, when I watched people around me, people of all nationalities and walks of life, I realized that we all share life itself, and that it is the fulfillment of the romantic dream or the creation of a special moment that one never forgets, not the material rewards.

I think that romance is the creation of that special moment, that a romantic life is full of those creations. I want to share with you my beliefs about romance and its importance in every part of life, and I hope that by doing this I'll be able to impart the sense that, while it's important to lead a romantic life, it's also remarkably easy. It takes a heightened awareness of the world around you, being open to the romantic possibilities of a dinner at home, a business lunch, a vacation with your family, a rain sunday with your children. I'll show you how simple it is to transform your bedroom into a romantic haven, to bring a sense of romantic adventure to a children's birthday party, to create a romantic picnic from a local farmers' market, even to set the stage for a dramatically exciting dinner party. It doesn't require you to buy anything or to inherit a fortune, but it does require that you learn to know yourself and what you want out of life day to day. Whether you're a working mother who wants more time with her children or more time alone with her husband, a woman who thrives in an all-consuming career, a woman who stays home to care for her family's needs, or a single woman who supports herself, you can bring romance into your life. And you'll find that in sharing your desire for more of those special moments you'll enhance not only your own life but also the lives of the people around you.

This is not about the lifelong partner or the marriage of convenience or the one-night stand. It's about approaching your life with the drama and mystery that some of us think exists only in books, TV and movies.   Even though I make those movies, I find myself wishing that more of those magic moments could happen in real life. This book is about making it all come true.

I was born to two wonderful, unconventional, loving and romantic parents. they gave their children all the opportunities they had missed; a life with education, no war, love, stability, and a great sense of security in being our own persons. We weren't rich at all, but never felt poor or lacking in any way. the special things we had and did came from our parents' sense of adventure and surprise, and this really is where my ideas spring from. Against the odds of their generation, the war, their age, their time in life, they have dared to live the romantic life. they've never been afraid to make romantic gestures, never been too busy to make the small gesture that means so much to those around them. they have shared their unique approach to life with many of my friends and theirs, and people always remember them for this. They enrich others' lives when they try to enrich their own.

Yes I am a romantic. It's not the most practical thing to be, or the most profound thing to say, I agree, but when all is over, the sense of having lived, of having loved a lot, of having spent the precious time allotted to us on this planet positively and pleasurably with people who share these feelings, will make all the hassle worth it.

Woman and men are uncertain now of their places in the world. One year women find freedom and in their understandable excitement at enjoying it fully, leave men feeling left out and confused. The next year women find power and in their zeal at wielding what has so long been denied them they somehow overlook their birthright of an emotional, instinctive, sensual reaction to life.

Women, if they wish to, should allow themselves their feminitity, their sense of motherhood, and their drive to accomplish. And men should continue to enjoy the chase, the image of the knight in shining armor. We should all celebrate our differences.

Little things are what affect everyone so much. The flower left casually by the bed, or on the desk, the gift for no apparent reason, the holiday (if only for two nights) that is a surprise, the note that was never expected. These little things  make life richer and more special. Envying others for their success or money, possessions or power, doesn't enrich your life. Richness comes from living romantically- being surprising and mysterious, finding your own style and sharing it with our loved one, your friends, your children.

It is these things that I wanted to share while I awaited my second child, feeling the great privilege of happiness in a frantic and competitive world. - Jane Seymour

© Jane Seymour's Guide to Romantic Living